Prayers for tomorrow!

Well....tomorrow morning we will get to see the first results of the stimulation medication! Please pray that the shots are doing their job and the follicles are growing as they should be. We hope to see lots of little black blobs on the sonogram monitor in the morning! I will update tomorrow after we know! Please continue the prayers...God is listening.

The makings of a STIM shot...

So, last night started the new STIM medication. And after careful reading through the material again, I realized the that the shot is to be given in my stomach or leg...not my hip like we thought. So...for now, Jason is off the hook. I can continue to give myself these shots in addition to the lupron. Here is a picture of what makes up one of these STIM's shots....

1. attach cap to the syringe (the cap is in front of the pink vial)
2. draw up the liquid in the 3 vials (the 2 green and 1 pink)
3. push the liquid through to the vial on the far right. This is powder and dissolves when the liquid is pushed in.
4. take off the cap and attach the needle to the syringe.
5. draw up the mixed liquid.
6. clean the skin and administer the shot.

Um....word to the wise....this shot BURNS! there is a good amount of liquid being pushed in and it's pretty painful. Honestly, I don't know if I can take that pain in my stomach.I might continue to give these shots in my legs and only give the lupron in my stomach. Understand the overwhelming part? It's a lot to remember....which is why I had to make a notebook to keep all my notes, calendar, etc in as a reference. I call it my IVF bible. :)

So, for now I'm just shooting away at night....and battling headaches by day. Battling one right now in fact. Today was the worst I've felt in a while actually. I woke up feeling very exhausted....got a burst of energy mid morning and I felt better until about 2:00 this afternoon. It was down hill from there....I'm taking Tylenol and drinking lots of water. That's all I can really do. Oh, and rest! Doctor's orders! At this point in the process I'm on even more restriction. Can't lift over 20 pounds...and just supposed to take it easy. I've been doing that anyway, so I'm just going to continue doing just that!

We go back to the doctor on Thursday morning. This sonogram will show how the follicles are growing. Those follicles will turn into eggs. Depending on the size of follicles will determine when egg retrieval is....definitely one day next week though. We are in the heart of the process now! It's hard to believe how quickly it's flying by.

As always....continue with the prayers everyone! God is listening! :)

That's a whole mess of meds!!!!

So today we picked up the rest of our medication....I say "our"....but let's face it....other than the week long of antibiotics for Jason, the rest is all mine! It's a bit overwhelming.....mix this with that, use one needle to fill the syringe, use another to give the shot, etc. I just had to post this picture so you could all see the mound of medication!!!! I'm keeping this post short for now...but I'll post more on Sunday after the first attempt with the STIMs medication!!!

Green light for the next step!

Today was another one of those "big step" days for this process! This morning I had blood work done and an ultrasound. The ultrasound looked "perfect" as the nurse told me. (there's that word that I love to hear) My endometrium lining is nice and thin like it should be, which means the Lupron is doing it's job...and the ovaries looked great...no cysts or anything! Praise God! The next part was waiting for the bloodwork results.....then I got the call that all my levels look great!!! Everything is in line just as it should be for this part of the process. Finally...some consistent good news! (this is not something Jason and I are used to hearing!)
So this means that I've been given the official green light to start the next round of medication...the stimulation medication. I will add this injection at night to the Lupron I'm already getting. The STIM shot is the one that Jason will have to give, so here comes the practice! We'll go on Friday to pick up the rest of the medication from the "baby making pharmacy" that I like to call it. After we get all that I'll post pictures of it all so you can get a visual.
So, that shot will start this Sunday and then my next appointment is next Thursday the 20th. This appointment they will check the size of the follicles (that turn into eggs) and make a determination about the retrieval date. It could be anywhere from 3 to 7 days later depending on how they are growing. Obviously I'd rather it be on the shorter end of the spectrum...but you can't rush this process. Everything has truly fallen into place so I have to assume that this will too. With continous good news like this it only helps keep my stress and anxiety levels down....which is great!

I've written it many times in prior posts...but I wanted to say a thank you to everyone who continously checks up on me/us. The emails/Facebook messages/texts/phone calls mean so very much and truly do make this process easier to bear. Sometimes I get caught up in the "schedule" of it all and forget just how huge this is. It's such an important time in our lives....something we will never forget.

Prayer request...

Tomorrow morning I have my next doctor’s appointment. This appointment is called the suppression check. They will be drawing blood to check my estrogen level to make sure it is just that…suppressed. They will also be doing an ultrasound to make sure my lining is where it needs to be…and another lovely culture test. Ladies…if you’ve never had a culture test done, they are super fun (as I’m rolling my eyes). Ask me about it if you’d like to know…but there are men that read this blog so I’ll leave the details off for now.

So, I’m requesting prayers at this moment. Prayers that the results come back the way they need to be for us to continue on with our calendar. As long as the suppression check comes back “normal” then I will start on my STIMs medication this Sunday. So, a second shot will be added to the nightly routine. This is when Jason really has to step up to the plate (so to speak) and give the shots in my hip. While the last “practice” shot he gave me didn’t go so well….I still have confidence in him that he can do this, and do it right. Ok, maybe say some prayers about that too. :) We talked to some friends this weekend who have been through this recently (thanks J & J!) and it gave us both renewed hope that this can work and even gave Jason a bit of a confidence boost that if other men can do this…so can he.

As for how I’m feeling. My only real complaint is that I’ve been pretty tired. Yesterday (Monday) was pretty brutal….dragging tiredness throughout the day even with much needed sleep all weekend. Today I’m feeling pretty good….better than I’ve felt the past few days actually, so that is encouraging.

That’s really the only update for now. I should have another update tomorrow afternoon after the blood work comes back so check back then.

Until then….just keep the prayers comin! :)

day 3 update...

Well, it’s day 3 of my shots and so far so good! And my faithful readers...have been wondering about the needles! LOL! Here is a picture of my first pick up from the pharmacy...complete with my own red hazardous container! Now, that is something I didn't think I would ever use to accessorize my bathroom!!!! As you can see the syringe is really small...and the needle is even smaller. This is just for the lupron (one little vial and tons of syringes!)...more pictures will follow in the coming weeks showing the rest of these lovely meds! (I got a sneak peek at the pharmacy of all my "prizes"...it's A LOT!)

I have already experienced a couple side effects (upset stomach, tiredness) but in mild forms so no formal complaints just yet! Administering the shots has not been a big deal….aside from the first night when the injection site swelled up like a bad mosquito bite! After reading the material a bit closer…it clearly said that could happen. And as Jason tells me – “if it could happen…it will happen to you!”. We laugh about that…but after I stop to really think about it I realize that it could be so much worse…there could be so many other obstacles standing in our way (maybe I’m able to say that now because things seem to finally be falling into place). And Jason and I can both tell that our minds are a bit preoccupied. The process is finally underway that we have waited for and it's exciting, yet scary...just like my blog title says. Random things like forgetting where I put something...or not being able to remember why I walked into a room....these things are happening to Jason and I both! I mentioned these things to Jason last night and he was like - I'm experiencing the same thing! It doesn't surprise me though. We have been known to finish each other's sentences, read each other's minds, and say the exact same thing at the exact same time. It just validates to us even more that we are meant to be together. One thing is FOR SURE....even if we don't end up with a baby (God forbid) we will definitely have a stronger marriage. A bond that I knew was already strong to begin with...is already growing.

There's a country song out by Brad Paisley that I've come to love.
The lyrics say:
I could just see you, with a baby on the way
And I could just see you, when your hair is turning gray
What I can't see is how I'm ever gonna love you more
But I've said that before

I thought the day I married Jason - Gosh, I can't love this man any more than I do right now....but I love him more than I did that day. I love it when I song can put so much into perspective!

Well that post just turned all sentimental...didn't it?!?! Started talking about needles and finishing up talking about how much I love my husband...that doesn't surprise my scatterbrained mind!

The Lupron fun begins!

So, this morning’s doctor visit went great! The sonogram showed that the cyst has greatly diminished in size…2 cm or less. So, that is great! I guess all those little pains I’ve been having the past few weeks was that booger shrinking down! The nurse also counted my follicles. The follicles are what turns into eggs….she counted at least 20! That is so awesome!

It was so refreshing to get nothing but great news at this doctor’s visit….and I was so glad Jason was there with me. Every ounce of information he can learn is great. I’ve been reading up on this process for months so I basically know what all of this means but sometimes it’s just hard for a man to grasp all of this! I’ve encouraged Jason to accompany me to most all of these visits so he can learn more and more. I think it really has helped him. At first that screen just looked like the doplar radar to him….but now we are pointing out ovaries and follicles (ok, with the help of the nurse….but still, it’s a learning process!) This morning as we were looking at all those black blobs the nurse said – “one day one of these black blobs will have a heartbeat inside of it”. My heart just melted at the thought of that….the yearning I have so deep inside of me to hear that long awaited heartbeat. I know it will be the best sound Jason and I have ever heard.
But in order for us to get to that day….we have to endure the not so fun stuff first. The shots begin tonight for me. Daily lupron injections is the first on the schedule.

After we left the doctor’s office I went by the pharmacy to pick up my first round of injections. It’s not just pulling up to the Wallgreens drive through….it’s a pharmaceutical company that specializes in fertility drugs. I walked in and was immediately blown away by all the pictures of babies. And in my welcome packet of information was a note that read:
Dear Patient,
Like your doctor’s office, we would like for you to send us a picture of your baby for our display if you can. It will be encouraging to others that may come into our pharmacy and pick up their medications.
Thank you.
I can only hope to walk in that pharmacy with a framed picture of baby Oliver one day. What a special day that will be. Because I know that one day someone else, just like me, will walk in that office….and be blown away by all the pictures….and have renewed hope.

They brought out a big tub overflowing with boxes, bags of syringes, etc. and I asked the girl – um, is ALL of that for me? Why, yes it is, she said. All I picked up today was the Lupron. It’s very convenient that I can just go back when I need to pick up the next thing on the agenda. It would not be good if something happened midway through this cycle and I had to delay everything. Then I’m stuck with hundreds of dollars of medication that is useless to me. I don’t want to chance it!

But as the nurse said this morning….as of right now…..everything looks perfect! Now that’s a word I haven’t heard until now!