I prayed for this child and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. 1 Samuel 1:27

Sunday, July 25, 2010

The good, the bad, the ugly...

Jason and I knew going into this adoption process that there were going to be good days, bad days...and then just days that were downright tough. Today has been a tough day. I also knew right from the beginning that just like I did with the fertility side of the journey, that I would share all aspects of this adoption side of our journey. The good side, and the bad side. Mostly up until now it's been great...continuous good news, wonderful things to celebrate. And I've mentioned that things have started to calm down and we are in the waiting portion of the process. Today, the waiting hit me...like a ton of bricks. It's just been a really tough day. For the first time I'm starting to worry....worrying what she's doing and thinking. All we can do is pray that we keep trusting in God's plan. Regardless of the outcome here....we have to TRUST GOD that the path He is paving...is what is best for us. The journey through infertility has been a tough one....this proves no different. I'm experiencing emotions I've never felt before....yet, I feel powerless, just as I did through the IVF process.
Last night we celebrated my sister's birthday. During the night I had a conversation with my mom and Jennifer's mother in law, Elaine. Elaine made some very good points, but the one that has stuck in my mind was her telling me that I need to keep my eyes focused on God's plan..TRUST THAT. Don't lose sight of that. If I feel confident in that...then nothing can get me down. But today I was just that - DOWN. It makes me question my faith...and that is where I know this is the devil having his way with me. Please pray that the devil gets on out of this house...we don't need him around.
Today, just as I was in the middle of a terrible crying emotional breakdown, my doorbell rang. It was my oldest friend, Anne Rae. (side note - i hate the term "oldest friend" because I always think people take it...she's really old...lol...but I digress....) Even though I was expecting her to come over...it was still that perfect moment...just when I needed her. You see, I'm very lucky...I have these amazing friends and family that know when I need them, just at the right time. In perfect Anne Rae fashion, she was able to calm me down and make me feel better. Thank you dear friend! :)
I've realized something over the past few weeks...and today it got even worse. I have had a sore jaw line...and sore teeth. Gee...that must mean that I've been grinding my teeth at night...something I've NEVER experienced before. I have been through many stressful situations in life...none have which, have ever made me grind my teeth or clench my jaw. Tonight, as I was cooking dinner I caught myself standing there clenching my jaw. I just can't relax. I know every day isn't going to be like this....but wow, this has been a tough one.
Please continue the prayers.....I really...WE really need them right now.
Make me still, O Lord...

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

I couldn't resist...

Since the day I started this blog...I dreamed about the day I could add a baby ticker to the top of the blog page. Corny, I know...but it was something I was really looking forward to. Today marks 4 months until baby boy Oliver is due. I couldn't resist any longer. :)

Yesterday we finished up our homestudy interviews. Our attorney got a call this afternoon from our social worker that everything went great! We already knew it...but it was just nice to get reassurance. We are still waiting to get the "all clear" from the FBI fingerprinting/background checks. Hopefully all of that paperwork will be back within a couple weeks. But the major part of the homestudy is complete...it feels great to check that off our list of things to do!

A lot of you have asked if we have picked out a name yet. We have talked about it...a lot. But we haven't 100% decided yet...so for now, we are keeping that information to ourselves.

Specific prayer requests that are on my mind daily.....praying for the health of baby boy Oliver, and birth mom. Praying that God is continuously working on birth mom's heart that she knows this is the right decision. Praying for patience to fill our hearts as we wait, wait, wait.

Again, we are so blessed to have an amazing support system. I have received some amazing emails and facebook messages from people I haven't heard from in years...it has truly touched my heart.

Don't stop believin'!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Shooting to the goal...

Our friends continue to amaze us.....Kristy (Evans) Pruet came into our lives a few years ago. Since then she has been the preferred photographer for precious Hudson & Olivia (nephew & niece) not to mention a host of our friends children. Kristy has told me time and time again she can not wait until she can take pictures of baby Oliver. :) She has also told me she wanted to come up with some way to help us on our journey to adopting baby boy Oliver. She came up with this "fundraiser". If you are interested in having your children's portraits made by an awesome photographer, email her at the address on the invitation above. My gracious sister has offered up her house as the location. Kristy has even mentioned if she gets a lot of interest she will book more than one photo day to work everyone in. We are humbled and honored that Kristy has offered to do this for us. Again, God is revealing himself to us in very interesting ways. :)

Monday, July 12, 2010

The waters are calming down...

The past month has been a whirlwind. I've said that MANY times in the past few posts I've written...but it's the only way to truly describe it.

Aside from all of the adoption stuff....Jason and I have had an extremely busy social calendar. We are so blessed to have so many amazing people in our lives that we always have something going on. So we've been on the go so much. I think we are both just tired. Emotionally and physically. And today the "waiting" set in.

Everything with the adoption has moved so quickly since the first day we learned about the baby....that the waters are starting to calm... and now it's time to just sit back and "relax" and wait for November. With that being said...the emotions hit me today...the crying stressful emotions. Jason and I keep exploring uncharted territory. We've never done this before...so yet again, we are facing a whole new set of emotions. While this is an exciting time...it's also a very emotionally stressful situation as well. I keep requesting prayers....but once again....I'm asking for your prayers.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

As requested...

Many of you have asked..."how can I help"...or "I want to chip in". Well, here's your chance. I've set up a Chipin link that is secure through Paypal if you feel led to contribute. We have been humbled by God's grace to get us this far in the adoption process. We feel certain that He will continue to open doors for us to make this possible. If you feel led to contribute, and would rather mail a check versus using the secure link, please email me at: kara061179@yahoo.com and I will mail you our address. If a financial contribution is not possible, please contribute to our journey by praying for our family.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

What a difference a month makes...

June 10th was when we got the first call about this adoption. I can't believe it's almost been a month. So much has happened in that short period of time. A lot of you who have emotionally invested in our journey have been curious about more details of how this incredible situation came about. I feel more comfortable now with sharing more of the story...

Jason and I had not made any advancements in pursuing adoption...we took some time after the last IVF cycle and we knew after our Bahamas vacation that we would focus on the adoption process. Back in April we met Jeannette through a mutual friend, Marlin. Little did we know that Jeannette would become our attorney! Jeannette was approached by some friends about their daughter's pregnancy. Because she knew about our journey (through Marlin and our blog) she immediately thought of us and our desire to become parents. So, on the night of June 10th I got a call from Jeannette about this possible opportunity. Just 4 short days later she needed an adoption portfolio from us. Like I said...we had done NOTHING to prepare for this so we obviously didn't have a portfolio put together. We got the portfolio together...a finished product that we were extremely happy with. So, on June 15th it was delivered to the birth family. And by June 19th they graciously invited us into their home...to meet them and their daughter. It's a moment I will never forget....and a meeting that I am going to choose to keep private between the parties involved. But I will share this one detail from that night. Birth mom told us that when she was reading our portfolio...she felt the baby kick...for the first time. Cue tears and a flood of emotions. What better sign from God that this is part of his plan? On June 21st we got the phone call with the news...birth mom had chosen adoption...and she had chosen Jason and I as the adoptive parents!!!!!!!!!!!  And on July 1st we learned that the baby is a BOY! :) We can say - he and him...instead of "it". So as I've quickly described...A LOT has happened in the past month.

What's the other essential ingredient in the adoption process? A homestudy! Typically these are done at the very beginning of starting a journey on adoption. Our situation is a tad unique. :) So, Jeannette put us in contact with a great social worker to take care of our homestudy. Our first visit was July 1st. That meeting involved a home inspection and going over all the paperwork we need. Background checks, fingerprinting, lots of documentation. Today, July 6th is our second visit. Tonight's visit includes a private interview with just me and the social worker...and then a private interview with just Jason and the social worker. I went first...so I'm actually typing this as Jason is having his interview. Just as you would imagine...lots of questions....childhood memories...questions about my parents...about growing up...about school...about work history....all kinds of stuff.  Our next meeting is next Tuesday the 13th. That will involve our interview with Jason and I together. And that will conclude the homestudy! Then we just wait on our background checks to come back. Because this is a private adoption the amount necessary is a bit less than the average adoption. Of course I believe...no adoption is "average".

So for now we just finish up the homestudy process...and acquire the funds to make this possible. That part is starting to stress me out. But God brought us to this situation...He will bring us through it. Do I think He will make money fall from the sky? No. But I firmly believe that He will open doors to make that possible.

The emotions of all of this are starting to catch up with me. Tears one minute....HUGE grin the next. It's been quite an experience thus far. All of the pieces seem to finally be falling into place for us. We just pray that God continues to work on "birth mom's" heart and know that she is making the best decision for the future of that precious baby boy. Our lives would forever be changed. I feel like our lives have already been changed...just in the past month. What a feeling........ :)

So while we're waiting....we will try to be patient, hopeful, humble, thankful, prayerful.