Well, today was embryo transfer. We ended up with one mid-grade embryo...and one that was not really grade worthy. However, both were transfered today. Obviously it was a huge let down that we didn't get better results. Dr. H. seems to think that there could be something wrong with my ovaries. I have no idea what that could be...it seems they've tested me for everything under the sun...but she really expected me to respond better than I have considering "on paper" everything has been great. She did say that she has had patients get pregnant from these quality of embryos. SO.........the bottom line is...while the odds aren't probable....it is still POSSIBLE for me to get pregnant from this transfer today. Without having any embryos left over to freeze...that means if I don't get pregnant from this cycle that is the end of the road for this shared risk plan. Will we go through another round of IVF? I have no idea. For now we are trying to just focus on this current cycle. I go back next Wednesday for my blood test to find out if I'm pregnant. Every part seems like the "hardest part"....but this definitely is. Jason and I have done everything possible we can to aide in the success of this...its all in God's hands now.
I am off work all of this week for rest, rest, and more rest. Please pray for my attitude to stay positive. It's so easy right now to just cry and already say it's not going to work...but I know deep down that I believe in miracles and there very well could be one happening inside me at this very moment. I'm just so afraid of getting let down again. But this is part of the process....I have to just trust His plan.
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Try to stay positive! I know it has to be so hard. You have a ton of people praying for you & Jason. God is in control.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your journey.
Oh Kara, I am so sorry! I believe in miracles and I believe in God's perfect timing, although we don't always understand it. I will pray that God will hold you and your body in His hands as you cling to the embryos inside you. Keep praying and know I am here if you need me. I do understand the pain (see my June and July posts from last year)
ReplyDeletePrayers for your miracle!
ReplyDeletePsalm 41:10, "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (NIV)
Kara, I'm thinking about you and Jason all the time and am thinking only positive thoughts that it only takes one embryo and you will be pregnant very soon. Just try and stay positive and know you have so many people out here thinking and praying for you all!!
ReplyDeleteSending many positive thoughts your way!
ReplyDeletewww.brandysheaif.blogspot.com
I am believing with you Kara!
ReplyDeletePraying that a miracle is happening right now!
ReplyDeleteHey Kara! I will be praying for you all week. I hear your heart and I can empathize with your urge to feel hopeless.It has been those moments in MY life that God has then opened a door. Just when I thought "life sucks, poor pathetic me" he showed me how wonderful he could be. Not that you are thinking that-but I want you to know I care for you and you're in my thoughts.
ReplyDeletePraying for you!
ReplyDeleteKara, I can't imagine how tough all this stuff must be for you. Please know that we all care about you and what you're going through during this time. I'll send up some prayers for you today.
ReplyDeleteMuch love, kid.
Nate
Stay strong, Kara!
ReplyDeleteKara,
ReplyDeleteIt can be so extremly hard to go what you are going through right now. One of my best friends went through the same thing and after much trying, they had a miracle daughter. I will say prayers for you that it happens. If it doesn't, know there are other options out there for you to become a Mom. Many positive prayers.
Susan
Kara, anyone who wants to be a mother this badly will make an AMAZING one when the time finally comes. I know things are tough right now, but I know that when you finally have your child in your arms, it will make it all the more worth it.
ReplyDeleteHope for the best,
Elena
Keep your head up and keep smiling! If you keep a positive attitude, karma will bring good things your way.
ReplyDeleteI'll keep you in my thoughts!
"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place."
ReplyDeleteRemain strong through this hard time and eventually things will work out.
You already have so much love for someone who hasn't been conceived yet and because of that I know you and your husband will be great parents someday.
Positive thinking can be the best medicine. Know that there are a lot of people (even those who don't know you) that are rooting for you. =)
ReplyDeleteHey Kara,
ReplyDeleteI went through infertility, although not to the extent you are. It is such a roller coaster. Just hold on to your faith...you are doing all you can.
I read something in a book when I was going through this that said to think about adoption as an option before exhausting all the science. It said to consider if you want to be pregnant or to have a child. Once I read that, I realized that I would have a child...I just wasn't sure which way it would happen. Gave me great comfort.
Whenever I feel down and things look tough, I repeat this in my head over, and over, and over again....
ReplyDelete"I can do all things through God who strengthens me."
God Bless you guys and your time of trials, whatever the result...God will make it GREAT!
Blessings, Wayne
Kara,
ReplyDeleteYou're courage and passion for a family inspires me. I will be praying for you and your family.
Authentically,
Amanda Hite
I'm so sorry for the hardships you're going through right now. Just know that there are lots of people who love and care about you. I'll be praying for you!
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing this blog...there are a lot of women out there going through the same thing, and it helps to hear about someone else's strength and courage. We have been trying to have a child for 11 months, with no results. I am a little ways behind you in my journey, having just started Clomid, but I can still feel your anxiety, as I am waiting for Monday to find out if it worked for us. Best of luck to both of us, I will be praying for you over the weekend!
ReplyDeleteI wish you lots of luck with your IVF, stay strong and trust in God.
ReplyDeleteKara,
ReplyDeleteHang in there. God provides us with all of our needs, even if a child is a need to you. I'm praying for you!
Sincerely,
A girl who will have to go through the same thing you are some day.
All will come to light in time. Don't be afraid. You are a beautiful woman, and, if it is in God's design, you will have a beautiful child.
ReplyDeleteStay strong, darling
-Lady Nyx Theia
I think you're very strong to even consider this! All my positive thoughts are with you!
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine how difficult this time must be for you, but always try to stay positive. Keep your chin up and keep on sending those positive vibes out into the universe. You're in my prayers this weekend.
ReplyDeleteKara- You and your husband will be in my prayers. Your love for each other is evident and that is the love that will get you through the hard times. Sending sticky thoughts and that you are blessed soon. :) God has a great plan for you!
ReplyDeleteSending hugs,
Melissa
I so admire the way you're leaning on God during this difficult time. My thoughts and prayers are absolutely with you. Remember Abraham & Sarah.. Even when it seemed hopeless, God was faithful and provided.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your story. Stay strong!
Stay strong, and keep that positive attitude! You are a great inspiration to many women/couples out there going through the same thing.
ReplyDeleteKeep loving life, and those tiny little embryo's inside of you!
Kara, you are such a beautiful and courageous woman. Thank you for sharing your journey. I am holding you in my thoughts and prayers, wishing the very best news. Stay strong and know that you are supported by many.
ReplyDeletekeep going!
ReplyDeletebest wishes for you
I don't know you, but I know that you are a lot stronger than you probably realize. and I know that miracles can happen. and I know that you have many people who are thinking about you & sending lots of love your way, right this very second. I'll be saying some prayers for you!!
ReplyDeleteStay positive! Here's an interesting story for you: My dad had a vasectomy when he was younger because he had two kids too early and he didn't want anymore. But when he met my mom, they wanted a kid, so he had a REVERSE vasectomy. I had a low chance of being conceived. But here I am, and now I'm going to tell you don't lose hope! A baby's soul is up in heaven and waited to be put into a baby that you're going to love more than your own life.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes<3
I was 32 when I had my first born. Right before I got pregnant, I had pretty much given up on the idea of having kids. I know it feels like it's never going to happen, but all things happen in their time. Just relax and try not to stress too much. Keep the faith!
ReplyDeleteDear Kara,
ReplyDeleteKnowing that I might have to go through the same process in a couple of years, I'll send a prayer for you up to heaven and burn you a candle, so you have some light to look forward to, at the end of this dark tunnel.
Good luck! You're doing amazing!
I'm sending postive vibes to you and your husband this week. I'm sorry that you are going through this tough time, but I hope that everything works out for you in the end. You seem like a very strong person, and I wish you all the best.
ReplyDeleteAgainst all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, "So shall your offspring be." Romans 4:18 -- I'm praying for you and your husband. Stay strong and never let your eyes drop from Heaven. If I may suggest a song to you--Casting Crowns "Praise You In This Storm". It's about five years old at this point, but an incredibly powerful song when you're facing a tremendous struggle. I wish you all the best for a healthy, happy and blessed, beautiful child to call your own.
ReplyDeleteKara:
ReplyDeleteWhat you're going through sounds tough, but keep your head up! You're doing an amazing job, and you have the prayers of so many people behind you!
We're all here for you, cheering you on! Take this time to rest, and keep your spirits up. :) I know you can do it.
Hello
ReplyDeleteYou are so strong! I hope and pray that you may become pregnant. Keep positive!
With lots of love
Wow you are so strong!! I think u will make a fantasic mother, and if you hope and believe there will be miricales! Hang in there :) x
ReplyDeleteKara--
ReplyDeleteYou show so much strength and spiritual beauty in this blog post; no doubt you would be a great mother. I am praying for your miracle, but beyond that I am praying for you and your peace of mind. Whether or not this round works out the way you would like, keep your chin up- there will be more opportunities.
Stay strong and keep pushing through, you are not alone-- there are many of us out here crossing our fingers and praying for you.
:)
I very nearly started crying when I heard about how much you've been doing to try to have a child. I think it's amazing. And you seem so strong; you seem like a fighter.
ReplyDeleteI know that it's probably hard right now, but I, too, believe in miracles. I'll be thinking of and praying for you and your husband for this week. I believe that it's all going to work out in the end. I really do.
You are loved more than you'll ever know.
Peace and prayers to you,
Patricia <3
My own mum went through two miscarriages before my brother and I were born, so you never know what's going to happen. Try not to worry, and please rest in the knowledge that God will ALWAYS have your best interests at heart, whatever the route to get there.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you both, love and prayers.
Kara,
ReplyDeleteThis certainly is the toughest type of roller coaster of waiting and hoping and wondering what will happen. Your faith sounds strong although it might not seem like it at times. Hold fast to your belief in God's plan and you will not be disappointed in the end. Accept love from those around you to fill you back up so you can keep going on this journey to being a mother. Your blog is touching and helpful to so many people struggling with the same daily heartbreaks. Thank you.
And Fearless, the Max Lucado book, is great.
Kara, my thoughts and prayers are with you and Jason. You are so strong and committed to one of lifes greatest journeys, parenthood. It will happen for you, I believe in you.....
ReplyDeleteKara - sending positive thoughts your way for sure! You guyses picture up at the top of the blog is super cute. :) I wish you all the best... your determination is very inspiring. Take good care,
ReplyDeleteKatrina.
Wishing good thoughts for you and your husband. I can't imagine the heart-break & frustration you feel at this point; but I am inspired at your courage. Stay strong!
ReplyDeleteDear Kara,
ReplyDeleteI don't know you, but I do know that if you really want something, miracles DO happen. Don't worry too much, everything will be okay.
Much love from the Netherlands
Whether or not your body can become pregnant, you are capable of being a mother. If God has gently decided that your place in His plan requires your womb not to quicken, He may have decided that your heart will quicken instead. Do not forget of those thousands of children, infants, waiting inside orphanages for a loving mother just like you. Maybe God is leading you through this so that when you are a mother, in whatever form that takes, it will mean all the more to you, and to your children.
ReplyDeleteHaving said that? Have faith your womb will quicken, for the child within you will feel your expectation, and awaken.
You seem like a beautiful person and I have faith in you, your husband, and your future children, no matter whose womb they come from. God loves you, and I love you. *hug* You're going to be all right.
Dear Kara,
ReplyDeleteI, too, have been an infertility patient. I know how bad it sucks. Know that I've prayed for you.
It's Easter time ... The time of renewed hope and new life. The Lord of Life has plans for you!
Kitty
I'm sorry this is such a difficult time for you. Keep on keeping on and I'm sure someday soon your hopes will be realized!
ReplyDeleteStay strong! It will happen! One way or another, you will be a mom and you will be wonderful at it! I'm sending positive thoughts and prayers to you! Remember this - Even if you can't have the experience of actually giving birth, there are many, many children out there whose parents didn't want them and need a loving home. You will be a mom, and you will be great!
ReplyDeleteI hope you've been getting all the rest you need this week, and that you will find a sort of peace once you find out (either way) next Wednesday. I'll keep you and your husband in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteKara,
ReplyDeleteI know things seem tough right now, but I know you can get through this. Keep hope and someday you'll be telling your children about this. I know you WILL be a great mother someday. I'll be praying for you.
Stay strong,
Laurel
Hang in there. You are pouring your heart and soul into this, and that in itself is beautiful. Sending prayers and much hope your way...
ReplyDeleteSending you warm thoughts.
ReplyDeleteSo many couples I know have had similar struggles and each one has had their own journey. Some choose adoption, which is a miracle in and of itself. Others stop trying and miraculously get pregnant. Others are doing what you are doing and it works out.
Hugs from the Internet. :)
Kara,
ReplyDeleteI know things must feel really rough right now, but just know you have the support of everyone in this world and that we are all so proud of you for going through something this incredible. You sound like you would be a great mother so don't let the desire to be a biological mother stop you from becoming a cookie-baking, boo-boo- fixing, all encompassing mother figure.
Love, J
You are in my prayers-I truly believe people like you are meant to be mothers.
ReplyDeleteI just said a prayer for you. You'll be on my mind!
ReplyDeleteHi Kara,
ReplyDeleteI just want to let you know that you are in my prayers. I can't wait to start a family of my own and can't imagine how difficult it must be for you. You have so much strength and courage, and I know that God would never give you and your husband something you could not handle.
"Deep peace of the running wave to you
ReplyDeleteDeep peace of the flowing air to you
Deep peace of the quiet earth to you
Deep peace of the shining stars to you
Deep peace of the gentle night to you
Moon & stars pour their healing light on you
Deep peace to you..."
~ Traditional Gaelic Blessing
Kara & Jason -
Sending loving & supportive energy to you both.
Hugs,
Kim
praying for you!!
ReplyDeleteyou and your husband are very beautiful.
ReplyDeleteStay strong, love
Thinking of you during this difficult time. I understand it's irritating to hear "I'm sure you'll be pregnant soon" and comments like that. Just know that there are people thinking of you two and wishing you all the best in the world.
ReplyDeleteDear Kara,
ReplyDeleteI'll be keeping you and Jason in my thoughts, and my best wishes go to the hope that you will soon enter motherhood. You've been incredibly brave so far; keep your chin up and smile!
Best of luck for the future, and know that you are being supported and prayed for by many people around the word. ^.^
Love,
Michiko xoxo
ItStartsWith.Us
You are going to make such a wonderful mother. Somebody who wants it that bad is destined to be so.
ReplyDeleteKeep your hope up, because your child is going to be very lucky to have you
I have such great respect and admiration for you and your husband, knowing that there are people like you two out there in the world makes me feel better about so many things. Both you and your husband are in my thoughts. Best wishes.
ReplyDeleteKara,
ReplyDeletePlease keep your hope, AND your Faith! It took me 7 years of trying (3 of them "intensely") but I now have 2 beautiful little girls! It was so hard waiting and wondering and wishing, I know. But I had to learn it wouldn't happen one min. before HE decided it would. So, don't give up, know it's possible! I will include you and Jason in my prayers.
Hi Kara and Jason
ReplyDeleteYou don't know me but I'd like to send you both many positive vibes your way! I hope you get some time to relax because it seems like you two have done everything you know to do so now you just have to relax and let whatever is meant to be be. And try to laugh and smile a lot, who knows maybe it will convince the baby soul that is waiting for you what a fun and positive world it has to look forward to and it will want to hurry up and get to you! ;o)
Sending many prayers and positive vibes your way!
"For us, each day is a dark night. None of us know what might happen even the next minute, and yet still we go forward. Because we trust. Because we have faith." Paulo Coelho
ReplyDeleteKara,
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine how hard this must be for you, and your family. IT's amazing that you are managing to stay so positive with all of this. I will keep you in my prayers, and I pray that you will get to be the mother to a wonderful baby someday soon.
Much Love
Hang in there - we are thinking happy thoughts for you
ReplyDeleteSending prayers and thoughts your way Kara! <3
ReplyDeleteI will be checking back to follow your journey, don't lose hope.
Kara, i know that by this time, you might be a little tired of reading so many nice and positive comments. I know that maybe my words won't change or solve the hard trial that your husband and you are going through. I wish i could see the future and tell you what's going to happen but nobody can. It is indeed a difficult time for you both, physically, mentally and most of all emotionally.
ReplyDeleteSometimes we don't understand God's will, but trust always, that He is holding you, or even better, carrying you during this hard time.. Most of the time, we are so blind, just trying to reach what we want when we want; and we don't realize that he is with us. Don't give up, trust in His power and in the power of praying.
i want to share with you this verse:
"Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart."
Psalm 37:3,4.
Kara-
ReplyDeleteThrough this trying time, it's wonderful to have God with you every step of the way. If it is His will for you to get pregnant and bring a child into this world, it will happen. But everything happens for a reason and it is all according to His plan. Sometimes it's good to just cry and let it all out. Forced positivity is worse than natural negativity. It's all part of the growth process. God bless you, I will be praying for you.
I'm praying for you! I also had fertility problems...I have polycystic ovarian syndrome. My husband and I went through fertility treatments for 4 years before we just decided to quit. I couldn't handle it. And then I received a message from God and I knew without question that things would work out. A month later, I found out I was pregnant. No drugs, no treatments, no doctors. Just God. You just never know how or when it's going to happen, but keep that hope and faith because it will carry you through.
ReplyDeleteSending Love and Prayers your way! You are so brave. I can't wait to be a mother someday, but I do not know if I would have the strength to go through what you have done. Peace be with you and in in always!
ReplyDeleteHey Kara.
ReplyDeleteFirst off I'd like to say that your hope, faith, optimism, and desire to be a mother put a huge smile on my face. In this crazy messed up world you're a breath of fresh air to this struggling swimmer.
I really do hope that that spark of life grows within you. From what I've read I believe you deserve a child and I'm sure God does indeed have a plan in store for you. If however this cycle doesn't come through for you I ask that you have faith just one more time and give it a last go. Of course I'm only 18 so I'm not completely familiar with the details of this process.
Also, don't allow yourself to become disheartened. No matter what may come, He is with you. It may be that you are destined to adopt a child in serious need, or to help those stuck in the foster system. Parents like you two would set any child along a bright future. For all you know you might take in our next president or great scientist or the player to bring the Knicks to victory.
I can't say what's truly in store for you, but I send a prayer of greatness, now and tomorrow, over your lives.
From a boy who hopes he and his girlfriend can make it like you two have,
Kadeem.
I think you are an amazing woman. Keep your chin up. I wish you the best!
ReplyDeleteHello Kara,
ReplyDeleteWhat you've been through sounds like it is so difficult. You've gone through such a long journey. God has a plan and there's a reason for all of this, Kara. At times it may seem like there isn't. But I want to encourage to keep going. Be strong, I know you have it in you. You can come through this. Remember God's plan is better than any plan we can conjure up.
I do hope it's in God's plan to bless you with a child. But if it's not, I pray you can accept that fact. I will be praying for you and your husband, Kara. God bless you.
With Love,
Miranda
Kara,
ReplyDeleteGood luck! All my best wishes go out to you. Keep staying strong, and I'll certainly be checking back to follow your journey. Stay strong and know that regardless it will be okay.
Keep up the awesome attitude Kara, you're more of an inspiration than you know! I'll pray for you!
ReplyDeleteKara, im praying for you and your husband that you do get pregnat. Remember to stay positive. I hope that one day we can create something that will always be able to make babies. hopefully everyhting goes well. good luck
ReplyDeletei really think miracles can happen you know, whether we believe them to be the work of God or not.
ReplyDeletewhich means there is always always hope.
Kara, however difficult it may be, I am sure that when you have a child you will be a great mother. If you want it this badly, you will be great. You really deserve to have this. Stay strong. I'm thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine how you guys feel right now but I sincerely hope you get through this successfully. Always stay positive 'coz you'll never know what God has in store for you. I'll be saying a prayer for you and your future kid. :)
ReplyDeleteIt is an amazing thing to see faith such as yours. Like it says in Psalm 55:22, 'Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.' I know God will sustain you through all of this and if it is his will, bless you with a beautiful healthy baby. My prayers are with you, stay strong in Christ.
ReplyDeleteI think it is amazing, when I hear that people's dreams are to raise a family and have children of their own. In my honest opinion, having problems becoming pregnant strengthens the family bond between the husband and wife, and also for any children they might possibly have.
ReplyDeletePlease bear with me though, and this is only a suggestion, but have you considered adopting a child? Adopting is NOT giving up hope of becoming pregnant, but choosing an alternative, and offering love and a second chance to a child already born. Spending thousands of dollars for something that hasn't happened yet, I'd like to see you move your hope onwards, because it is very obvious that you, Kara, and your husband have a lot of love to give.
I hope you take no offense by this suggestion. I am only sixteen years old, still struggling to find my own self in this world, but it breaks my heart to see/hear of orphanages and unloved children.
My mother has shown me that motherhood is the best gift you can offer a child. Everyone wants to be loved sometime in their life. And I know that your future child/children will be very much loved. Please don't give up hope. Because out there, there's a child waiting to be loved.
From, someone young, but someone who knows the full extent of family pain and suffering. God Bless you greatly for the many years to come.
I read through your post and it really touched me. Stay strong, I will keep you in my prayers tonight.
ReplyDeleteI know some of the time it's really not easy, but trust in God. He loves you, and will give you the best for you, always :)
I admire your strength through what must undoubtedly be a difficult time, do not give up hope and I'm sure that if you get your chance you will make a fabulous mother. My thoughts are with you and your husband.
ReplyDeleteSending you lots of positive thoughts! Even though this is the "hardest part," there is still hope and faith and the love you and your husband have for each other. Wishing you joy, no matter what the result ends up being.
ReplyDeleteStay positive darling. What you're doing is incredibly hard and you're doing it so well. You are the bravest woman I know. You're bound to find happiness in life, there is no way around it. There is always hope, always another chance. I wish you and your husband the best of luck, you're both in my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteYou guys make a gorgeous couple - you'll be a cute family. Keep your head up :)
ReplyDeleteKara, please accept my prayers for you, your attitude, your husband, your future and you child. you're doing a beautiful thing, and one day your child will say so itself, I'm sure of it. stay possitive! it might work this time, and even if it doesn't, you can try something else. you have the best qualities of a mother. miracles can happen, and you are one who deserves it.
ReplyDeletelots of love and hope,
Magnhild
Try and think positive, hopefully things work out well for you, and you have a healthy baby. I wish you the best of luck.
ReplyDeleteHey. Keep your chin up, and keep hoping. Don't give up. Miracles will happen, especially for someone as amazing as you.
ReplyDeleteBelieve!
Stay strong, dear. I know it's hard right now, but stay positive and steadfast, and the best things will come to you
ReplyDeleteHang in there, Kara. You and your husband clearly have a lot of strength--rely on each other and keep your thoughts forward. You're in my prayers!
ReplyDeleteKara,
ReplyDeleteYou are in my prayers. I've been dealing with a couple of very, very bad ovarian cysts recently and have been in and out of the doctors for months. There's been hints of infertility and I know how deep the fear sits. I'll be praying for good news, peace, and comfort, and for a persistent hope. :)
"He chose the times set for us and the exact places where we should be. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us." Acts 17:26
- lauren xoxo
It is so hard to remember sometimes that God's timing is perfect and that we need to give him control. I will pray for strength and patience for you! :)
ReplyDeleteKara, I pray that you are comforted as God guidees this area of your life with His mercy and wisdom. I know how hard this process is as I was told my entire life (by doctors and specialists) that I'd never have children and now have 3! He is grace filled!
ReplyDeleteYou are doing all you can and know that a lot of people are in your corner and praying for you and Jason. Stay strong.
Kara, keep believing! Stay strong! It might be a hard time, but hang in there!
ReplyDeleteNothing is impossible, and so many people are right behind you, praying for you and wishing for your dreams to come true. Don't ever give up. Miracles happen every day. We know how hard this is for you, but we're all just wishing that this will be one of those miracles. Stay strong babe. xo
ReplyDelete