It's a love/hate relationship...

I love that I'm on Lupron because that means that our IVF cycle is underway...but I hate it because of the way it's making me feel. I really consiously try to not complain about any part of this process because I'm thankful to have the opportunity to go through this. This is really the only way for us to have a biological child so, I pray the good out weights the bad and we'll end up with a miracle baby. But my dear Lord...these headaches are really getting me down. I've basically had a headache since my Lupron shots started last Tuesday. I long for my one caffiene drink a day in hopes it will help...count down every 4 hour time period so I can take more Tylenol...and covet bed time because at least it doesn't hurt when I sleep. I don't remember the headaches being this bad the last time. I've done a lot of research online and there's basically no help. The only thing I can find as a suggestion is water, water, water....which I'm already drinking lots of. I have about one more full week of Lupron shots before I get to decrease my dose and add in the STIMS medicine...which should ease the headaches. I go this Thursday for my first suppression check...and for a physical. Dr. H. requires to have one current each year, and this month marks one year at the ART Program. Gosh, has it really been a year already!?!?! I'm going to ask if there is anything else I can take besides Tylenol...but I'm sure there isn't. It's just part of it. :(

As of right now the rest of our IVF schedule looks to be like this.... Egg retrieval should be somewhere around March 31st, April 1st or April 2nd. Embryo transfer about 4 days after that...and then my blood pregnancy test about 2 weeks after that. So, we should know the big news somewhere around April 20th.  I pray this is our time....gosh do I pray. I'm doing all the right things....the rest is in God's hands. Keep lifting us up....

This looks familiar...

Medication Invasion has taken over the Oliver's kitchen table...yet again. Jason was a great husband and went and picked up all of my meds for me today. When I got home from work and looked in the bags...and said, "yep...this looks just like last time". I really want to try and not compare this cycle to the last because I don't want to have any negative thoughts about it. But seeing all that medication just brought back a whole flood of emotions. Tonight I start my daily Lupron injections. Lupron prevents the production of certain hormones...thus, resulting in a decrease of estrogen and progesterone levels...which is necessary for this process. They've gotta surpress my hormone production before they stimulate it back up to make lots and lots of eggs. :)
I've read that women can respond totally different from IVF cycle to IVF cycle...so I'm anxious to see how I'll respond this time. On the last cycle the Lupron gave me daily headaches. Maybe I'll get lucky and not experience those dreaded things again.
Tomorrow Jason and I go in for some routine bloodwork...then my next appointment will be the 17th for my first suppression check. This ensures the Lupron is doing it's job.
The first time around, this was a huge deal....giving myself a shot...daily shots. But honestly, it doesn't even phase me. These Lupron shots are taken in my stomach and needle is super tiny. In a few days it will become like second nature...like I could do it in my sleep.
So, that's really the update for now...
As always, please lift Jason and I up in your daily prayers.
Love, Kara

In need of some encouraging words...

What do people do that don't have faith? What do people do when faced with tough situations in life that don't have God to rely on? Thankfully, I am a believer in God. I'm a believer in a predestined plan. Sometimes, yes, I question "why"...but at the end of the day, I know that God has something planned for me and everything happens according to His purpose.
With that being said, I've been having a hard time lately. Sometimes its really hard for me to reliquish control and let God "do His thing". I want to try and plan my life. I've always heard - we make plans and God laughs. That is so true. I've been struggling lately and am constantly in need of words from God. I received an email today from a friend that were the exact words I needed to hear. I wanted to share them on this blog because I know we all struggle with things, and for those believers out there, these are the perfect encouraging words:

Trusting God when I don't understand
Sunday March 07 2010 12:00 AM
Posted by Rick Warren


"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)
When the children of Israel were finally set free from Egypt after 400 years of slavery, they started marching out to freedom and the first thing they came to was the Red Sea. There were impassable mountain ranges on two sides of them, the sea in front of them.

Behind them, in hot pursuit, was the Egyptian army because the Pharaoh had changed his mind about letting them go. The path before the Israelites looked like a dead end.

But God knew exactly what He wanted to do. He had not made a mistake. He could see what they could not see. He opened the Red Sea and they walked through to safety. Years later, the Israelites looked back and sang, "Your road led by a pathway through the sea—a pathway no one knew was there!" (Psalm 77:19 LB).

You may be facing a dead end right now—financial, emotional, relational—but God can see a path that you don't know about. If you will trust God and keep on moving in faith, even when you don't see a way, He will make a way.

It will become more understandable as you head down the path he sets before you, but understanding is not a requirement for you to start down the path. Proverbs 4:18 says, "The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, shining brighter till the full light of day" (NIV). One day you will stand in the full light of eternity and view the big picture. You'll see God's purpose behind the path He specifically chose for you.

What do I do in the meantime? You do what Proverbs 3 says: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." What does He mean "don't lean on your own understanding"? You don't need to try to figure it out. In truth, you're not going to understand most of the things that happen in your life until you get to heaven.

Be patient. God knows what He's doing. God knows what's best for you. He can see the end result. You can't. All those problems, heartaches, difficulties and delays -- all the things that make you ask "why" -- one day it will all be clear in the light of God's love.

But for now, we're learning to trust God.

Tuesday we have a phone appointment with our IVF cooridnator. This is when we will get our calendar of this cycle and find out when the shots start. We are anxious to get this cycle under way. It's getting very close!

I'm selfishly going to ask for lots of prayers here.
I'll keep you all posted....

thank you...

I would like to post a "thank you" out to the cyber blog world....thank you to our anonymous writer. Today in the mail we received a letter and gift from anonymous....I know they are probably reading...at least I hope they are reading, otherwise, I have no other way of thanking this person. Thank you for your generous gift......and for your letter. I know you didn't mean any harm. Thank you, whoever you are.

For better or worse...through sickness and health...

Tomorrow, March 1st is our 2nd anniversary. 2 years ago we got married in Savannah, GA. The ceremony was at dusk in Forysth Park...with the reception at Paula Deen's restaurant. It was a perfect day...the weather was incredible...the azalea's were in full bloom...it exceeded our expectations. I paid attention to every tiny detail...and it paid off. It was the best day of my life. More importantly than all the details...it was so perfect because I married my best friend. I married a man I waited 27 years for. We were so full of bliss....never in our wildest dreams did we imagine the road God had planned for us. The struggles we have gone through the past 2 years can certainly test a relationship. Just like our wedding day....my husband has exceeded my expectations as well. He might not always be the best at telling me what he's feeling....but I know with all my heart that he is the best thing that ever happened to me...and I can't imagine going through this with anyone else. I take this opportunity on this blog to tell Jason...and the world....I love you with all my heart and I promise each and every day to exceed YOUR expectations and be the best wife I can be...

With all that being said I want to stray away from the topic of IVF for a bit and dedicate the rest of this blog post to food. Yes, food. Those of you know that know me well, know that I love food...I love to cook food...I love to eat food...I love to talk about food. Jason took me to a fabulous anniversary dinner last night to Highlands Bar & Grill. If you are from Birmingham you know about Highlands. It's one of the most coveted restaurants in the city and I've wanted to eat there for years. The meal was above and beyond what we hoped for and worth every penny. One of mine and Jason's favorite dishes is beef carpaccio. If you aren't familiar with what that is...it's raw beef that is sliced paper thin....basically tissue paper thin. They line the plate with the beef and then in the middle of the plate was a horseradish sauce... then it was topped with shaved Parmesan and a pile of arugula. It is heaven on a plate. Luckily Jason and I share the same passion for food. :) Next was the salad...I got the fried oyster salad. It was a huge generous portion of romaine lettuce, fried oysters and then fried pieces of red bell pepper and thin slices of lemon that were fried as well. I never thought of frying a lemon slice...but the combination of flavors worked so well together. I would go back and order this as an entree. In fact, I'm going to try and recreate this dish at home very soon. Again, heaven on a plate. On to the entree (and yes...by this point I was already full...but this isn't an opportunity to pass up....). Jason and I both decided to try something new. I got the Pompano & Scallops. Pompano is a white fish that is firm yet delicate. Scallops are one of my favorite things...but they can easily be overcooked....I knew Highlands wouldn't disappoint. It was served with a brown butter sauce, capers and then roasted cauliflower and fingerling potatoes. This was a dish I could only aspire to recreate at home. Food like this makes me so happy. It was incredible. Jason got the Triggerfish. It came with a beet relish, toasted walnuts, radishes and steamed potatoes. Another fabulous choice. Still trying to find room in my tummy...it was on to dessert. We got two choices and shared. :) The sweet & salty chocolate cake and the coffee creme brulee. The cake...it was this incredibly moist chocolate cake with a dark chocolate ganache. It had a caramel sauce on the plate and sea salt was sprinkled on it. Ingenious idea. I think now any time I have chocolate cake in the future I am going to reach for the sea salt. It was just one of those odd combinations that just plain worked. To die for. On to the coffee creme brulee....Jason and I both adore creme brulee. The addition of the coffee made it even better. The burnt sugar crust on creme brulee makes me a happy girl...it's just such a wonderful treat. The dessert plates had "Happy Anniversary" written in chocolate sauce on them. They were beautiful presentations. I so badly wanted to reach for my camera and snap pictures of all of the plates of food....but I resisted. To sum up, it was a totally fabulous meal....one we will never forget. Hopefully we can make a trip back at some point in the future.

Happy Anniversary Jason! I love you! :)

I must have lost 6 ounces...

...that's what Jason said after he saw the amount of fluid they drained from the cyst. Apparently it was bigger than they thought. I'm so thankful that Dr. H. pushed to have it drained versus trying more medication to do the trick.
The morning started off not so fun as the nurse attempted to put in my IV. I have had countless surgeries over the years. Too many ear surgeries than I care to remember...so I've had well over my fair share of IVs. I've NEVER experienced anything like this before. After an unsuccessful attempt by one nurse, they called another one in. Luckily again, Jason was there to hold my hand...or I should probably say squeeze. I think I cut off the circulation. I can't even describe the pain that lasted what I felt was an eternity. I was screaming and crying. :( I paid my dues though....when the IV was finally in they pumped me full of Versed. Versed is this great sedative that makes you forget about anything else in the world except for total relaxation. Frankly, I barely even remember the procedure and don't even remember seeing Dr. H. even though I know we spoke. :) We can home and I took the best nap ever.

With all that being said...the cyst is drained....they sent off the liquid to pathology, just as a common practice....and tonight begins the nuva ring and the journey to IVF cycle #2!

Thank you everyone for all your calls, texts, and facebook messages. Hopefully this was just a minor bump in the road.
Hugs and love to you all!

That's one big cyst....

So, this morning was my baseline check in order for us to start round 2 of IVF. This involves bloodwork, a bacteria culture, and an ultrasound. Bloodwork: check, Culture: check (with some moderate cramping...but still CHECK), Ultrasound: che....WOAH....what is that huge black mass?!? Literally me, Jason and the nurse all went - holy cow....look at that huge black mass. The cyst from last time was still there...and had almost doubled in size. That means the prometrium prescription didn't help shrink it as planned. Today is measured at 5 cm....about 2 inches in size. Considering the size of the "parts" down there....a 2 inch mass kind of gets in the way. Nonetheless, the nurse instructed us to proceed as planned with starting the nuva ring tonight and keep it in for 3 weeks. We scheduled our appointment with our IVF coordinator to talk about our calendar and get all my medications (shots, etc) ordered. The plan was the nuva ring should shrink or diminish the cyst. It's appointments like today where we don't even see our doctor (it's a common thing, we really only see her for the major appointments). So, about 2:30 this afternoon I get a call from Dr. H. Not a nurse....but Dr. H. herself. My stomach did that funny scared flippy thing when I heard her voice. She seemed very concerned with the cyst and didn't want to waste any more time with meds....we need to get in there and drain that sucker. So, I have to be at the doctor's office at 7:15 in the morning. When I get there they will hook me up with an IV and "feel good" drugs...and the procedure is at 8:15. It's actually a lot like an egg retrieval. They go in with a proe and drain the fluid from the cyst. I'll be groggy and spend the day in bed (cue the sympathetic eyes and milking it for all it's worth from Jason). What is going on our house?!?!!? First Jason with the kidney stone...and now this...all within 3 days of each other?! We are quite the pair lately. :(

Regardless of any anxiety I have over this....it's the best thing. I don't need anything getting in the way or slowing down this process. These cysts are no joke...if they didn't go in and drain it, it very likely could rupture, and then we have big problems. From what I gathered from Dr. H....this won't hinder our progress with this cycle (thank GOD)....of course this is all subject to the outcome of tomorrow, but we are keeping our fingers crossed and saying all kinds of prayers! :) I had an acupuncture session this afternoon and it was wonderful...I feel asleep and it was one of those totally fabulous quick power naps. I was actually really surprised that I was able to relax enough to sleep for a bit. (I guess that means Dr. Fogo is doing his job!)
So....be looking for an update tomorrow. Until then...keep those prayers comin!