Transfer complete!

What an emotional day it's been! We arrived at the doctor's office at 10:30 this morning....with a full bladder (doctor's orders) and heavy hearts! What an emotional journey we have been on thus far and today proved no less. We ended up with 2 embryos to transfer today. One was a higher grade embryo (the one on the left in the picture on the bottom) and the other was a middle of the road grade (the one on the right). Graded AB3 and B2, respectively. Our doctor was very happy with these results so we have every reason to be hopeful. As of right now we don't have any to freeze....but there are 2 other embryos they are keeping a watch on and we will know by tomorrow morning if we are able to freeze those. I'm trying to not think about "the next time" right now and just concentrate on this cycle. When we got there this morning Jason and I were both instructed to "suit up". I, in my hospital gown...Jason, in a gown over his clothes, complete with a cap and shoe covers....as we were about to enter a sterile room. They even gave me a sweet little stuffed bear to hold (and keep) with an ART Fertility Program t-shirt on. I can't help but think I will be clinging to this bear for quite some time as a form of comfort. When they wheeled me into the room the nurse immediately had to check my bladder to ensure it was full enough (don't ask me why they need me to have a full bladder...I still don't know, LOL). Anyway, it wasn't quite full enough so....more water...drink, drink, drink. A few minutes later it was full enough and Dr. Honea came in. She went over our embryo results and we got to see the picture of the little embies. After signing more consents, away we go! Jason was able to watch the whole thing on the sonogram machine as I was laying down, clenching the bear, my cross necklace, and Jason's hand of course. Immediately as they inserted the catheter tears of joy started falling down my face. What an emotional experience?! To know that at that EXACT moment....2 embryos were entering my body....and hopefully finding a very inviting home for the next 9 months. The tears didn't stop there....it was a very short procedure and immediately afterward Dr. Honea, Jason, myself and the nurse grasped hands (the picture of the embryos was laying on my belly) and Dr. Honea said the most precious prayer....blessing our potential children, this process and that God's will be done. Cue more crying.....As I've said before....there is only so much that the embryologists and doctors can do....the rest is in God's hands. The top picture I've posted here shows my uterus and the pink line is pointing to a very small white dot....those are our 2 embies! I go back on September 9th for the bloodwork to determine if I'm pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ever since that moment this morning, there have been many clear signs that God has revealed to me that He is in control. Hope has been a word I've leaned on during this process. On the drive home we see the car in front of us with the license plate - HOPE 4U. What comfort. Then as get home I turned on the TV and at that time a verse came up on the screen....Romans 8:28. A verse that is very special to our family....my mom has always written that to me over the years....and it was my grandfather's favorite verse....one that my grandmother also recites to me often. Then the 3rd sign brought on the tears again....I have been following a Caring Bridge website for a woman named Keri Cain. I learned about this woman from a girl I work with....she suffered a heart attack weeks ago and ever since has been fighting quite a battle. Even though I did not know this woman, her story pulled at my heart day after day. I continued to follow her progress and pray for her, her husband and her two small precious children. When I pulled up a my email a few short moments ago, I learned that Keri lost her struggle this morning and is now at home with our Saviour. I've always heard that when God takes one life, another begins. I couldn't help but think that as God chose to take Keri home....that he chose to give us a precious life. I can barely type these words right now as the tears are filling up my eyes.

So, like I said, a very emotional day for sure. Many emotions are filling up my heart right now as I am sure the same is happening for Jason. The most important step thus far in our journey is now complete and all we can do now is wait. Wait the dreaded long 9 days....but I take comfort in knowing that God is on our side.

On today's episode of J & K + 8....

Well, already heard from the doctor's office this early Saturday morning! All 8 embryos are still progressing right along!!!!!!!!!!! And they are all still the same grade, which is great, great news! Now it's just about taking it easy this weekend and waiting for the transfer on Monday! I can't wait to share details with all of you after the procedure on Monday. We should even have pictures of the little embies!
I just have to keep trusting in God's plan for us....I keep praying that baby Oliver is in our near future. :)

J & K plus 8!

Just kidding.........that just means we have 8 embryos....not that we will have 8 children. In fact, I can GUARANTEE it! All 8 fertilized eggs have grown into embryos as of 10:30 this morning. They grade them at this stage on a scale of 1-10. One being the highest quality. All 8 of ours are grade TWO. So, this is GREAT news! They will call us again tomorrow morning with another progress report. Then we won't get a call on Sunday - we will have to wait until we get there at 10:30 on Monday to find out the final tally of what we have to work with. I'm still pretty anxious and nervous....to be expected, but I'm not having as hard of a day as I did yesterday.

Medicine update.....today has started the progesterone phase of the medication (all of the past shots have already stopped). I have to take an "injection" of progesterone in the mornings (not an actual needle injection....women, you can figure this out) then a nightly injection in the hip of progesterone in an oil form. This is the really big needle and the shot that Jason has to give....so it's his time to shine!

I will post another update tomorrow as soon as we hear about out little embies. :)
My daily thanks.....thanks for all the sweet notes you all have sent me.

See me through...

So today was one of the first really emotional days I've had since the actual IVF process started. I got the call this morning about the little eggs. Of the 25 eggs they retrieved.....13 were mature eggs and 8 of those fertilized. These numbers are totally normal and to be expected....so why am I upset?!??!? Why am I being so selfish in wanting more???? This whole time all we've asked for is one baby. ONE. All it takes is one healthy embryo to make a baby and I have to keep remembering that. We will know tomorrow how many embryos we have from the 8 eggs that fertilized. There's still so much to be determined and the next few days will tell so much. In an ideal world we'd love to have 2 healthy high grade embryos to transfer on Monday...and then 2 to freeze. So that's only four total. I have to keep reminding myself of that.

So why the emotional breakdown today? Maybe it's because I've been pumped full of different hormones the past few weeks....maybe it's slight feelings of anger that we are having to go through all of this...or maybe it's because I just need time to let all these tears out....to let my emotions pour out of me....I've heard crying therapy is good. Frankly, I think it's a culmination of all of these things. I have so many emotions running through me right now.

When I first started this blog I told myself I didn't care if no one ever read it. It was a journaling tool for me to use to get my emotions out. After writing for a while now I've realized that's not true. I want people to read this...I NEED people to read this. So many of you are holding me accountable for my beliefs....and are reminding me how strong, brave, and graceful I've been thus far in the process. If I wasn't sharing my story...I wouldn't be reminded of this. We all need strong faithful friends during the good times and the bad....and while this isn't necessarily a BAD time...it's a tough time....and I need my support team to remind me to be strong in my faith....to remind me that this is out of my hands, it's in God's hands. He has a plan and I have to trust Him. It's just hard right now when I don't know the outcome. That's why they call it blind faith, right?

No doubt, the next few days will be tough. Tomorrow we will know more information about what we are "working with" so to speak. Please pray that we are graced with some healthy, high quality embryos. As to the exact number...that is up to God and His plan.

25 eggs!

This morning's retrieval process went great! They were able to get 25 eggs! We will get a call tomorrow letting us know the details on the quality of the eggs and how many fertilized. From there they will continue to call us each day to let us know how our little embryos are progressing! Next up...we go in Monday morning at 11:00 for the transfer....then I will go back on September 9th at 7:30 for the blood pregnancy test!!!! Exciting stuff!

I'm experiencing some cramping today which is to be expected after the retrieval. So I'm laid up in the bed and just waiting on Jason to deliver my Demerol from the pharmacy! :) Going to take it extra easy today and nap when I feel the urge.

Specific prayer requests today...
Pray that the embryologists work to the best of their ability to fertilize the eggs, pray that we end up with high quality embryos, pray for the preparation of my body for the transfer on Monday. Pray for continued patience as well for both Jason and myself as we are in the "waiting game" now.

Thanks again for all the notes and emails to let us know you are thinking about us. How lucky are we to be blessed with such wonderful people in our lives.
Hugs to you all! :)

Retrieval is scheduled!

This morning's appointment revealed a few things!

1. I have about 30 healthy mature follicles/eggs ready to be retrieved! Most of them are measuring right at 2cm which is right where they should be.

2. I stop taking the Lupron and STIM's shots, so last night were my last injections of those medications. (I responded excellently! Ok, I don't think that is really a word...but whatever, I'm bragging here!)

3. Tonight I take the HCG injection, which is taken 36 hours before the retrieval procedure. This "triggers" the mature follicles for ovulation and gets them ready for retrieval.

4. I have to start another medication today. This is just a pill (thank goodness, not another shot). Apparently I am close to borderline of "over stimluating". My estradiol level today was 3,125. Any time it's over 3,000 they go ahead and put the patient on this medication as a preventative. I don't need to overstimulate in the next 36 hours. For one, it can be a very painful thing to go through (from what I've heard). Anyway, it's an oral medication that I'll take for 8 days.

5. I have to take an enema tomorrow night. (seriously?! ok, we'll get back to that in a second)

6. Retrieval is scheduled for Wednesday!

Ok, so this enema...um, what? No one forwarned me about this part! I know it pales in comparison to what I've been through so far...so get over it Kara. But really....I was NOT expecting that. I've never known exactly what it was until I called my mom for clarification...I'm sure she's still got a ringing in her ear from the scream through the phone. YUCK! I think I've been pretty good about not complaining about things too much....so give me a moment here to gripe about this!

So, the instructions for tomorrow (Tuesday) are this -
*eat a light supper
*take a Fleet's enema after supper
*drink 16 oz of water at bedtime
*do not eat or drink anything after midnight
*be at the doctor's office at 7:30am Wednesday morning, procedure at 8:30

When we get to the doctor's office Wednesday morning they will go over everything with us, we will sign consent forms, and then they hook me up to an IV and away we go! Time for retrieving eggs. I told Jason today I feel like I need to go sit on a pile of hay ready to lay eggs...like a chicken! I'm so glad that Jason and I both can find some humor in all of this...our quirky sense of humor has gotta be what keeps us sane. So, yes, make all the chicken/egg jokes you like...we are doing the same.

As you can imagine we are SO very excited! Here are some specific things I'd like all my prayer warriors to concentrate. Please pray for continued calm patience over the next 2 days, pray for things to go smoothly with the procedure, pray for the widsom of the doctors, nurses and staff to shine through for us on Wednesday, pray for Jason to contiue to be my emotional rock during this, pray for the fertilization portion to go as planned, pray for God's will to be done (as I know it will), pray for the future family that Jason and I so long to have.

The black blobs....revealed!

This morning we went back to the doctor (yes, they see you even on weekends) for another sonogram and more bloodwork. This particular nurse counted about 30 black blogs (a.k.a. follicles)! They are measuring right on track, just as they should be. They aren't "mature" yet...but they shouldn't be this soon. And for all those interested....we got some pictures of those cute little black blobs. The average size of them right now is around 1.5 cm. So, here is a picture of my left and right ovaries. Keep in mind this is just one view of them...as they move the probe around you see more and more so this is the best shot the nurse could get to show a bunch of them at one time. As just as I've said....they are black blobs! LOL!

So, what now? We go back Monday morning first thing for another ultrasound and more bloodwork. And my estradiol level I mentioned in the last post? well Thursday it was 685...today it was 1869.7! It's crazy how quickly these numbers jump up! Today's nurse guessed that retrieval will be Wednesday...but that is still subject to change. Could be Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday. Either way we are so close to the next significant stage of our journey. I'm getting nervous feelings that I haven't felt before! And to quote my sweet sister...I see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Let me get back to the picture for a second...This is not - AND I REPEAT...THIS IS NOT a potential picture of Kara & Jason - Octo-parents! We will at the most be transferring two embryos....not 8 like that crazy lady. Our lives will not become a reality show. (sorry Emily!)

I hope this gives you all a bit more insight to the process....a little glimpse into what we have been getting to see. To some these are private moments only shared between a husband and wife...but I've chosen to make this information public.....for all interested to read. I don't regret one minute of sharing all of this either. What I thought was going to be a very scary experience has actually turned into an extremely uplifting experience. I feel certain I wouldn't feel this way, if I haven't shared. Many of you have emailed me questions...please, please, please - if you ever have a question about any of this don't hesitate to ask me.

Hugs and love to you all!