Transfer complete!

What an emotional day it's been! We arrived at the doctor's office at 10:30 this morning....with a full bladder (doctor's orders) and heavy hearts! What an emotional journey we have been on thus far and today proved no less. We ended up with 2 embryos to transfer today. One was a higher grade embryo (the one on the left in the picture on the bottom) and the other was a middle of the road grade (the one on the right). Graded AB3 and B2, respectively. Our doctor was very happy with these results so we have every reason to be hopeful. As of right now we don't have any to freeze....but there are 2 other embryos they are keeping a watch on and we will know by tomorrow morning if we are able to freeze those. I'm trying to not think about "the next time" right now and just concentrate on this cycle. When we got there this morning Jason and I were both instructed to "suit up". I, in my hospital gown...Jason, in a gown over his clothes, complete with a cap and shoe covers....as we were about to enter a sterile room. They even gave me a sweet little stuffed bear to hold (and keep) with an ART Fertility Program t-shirt on. I can't help but think I will be clinging to this bear for quite some time as a form of comfort. When they wheeled me into the room the nurse immediately had to check my bladder to ensure it was full enough (don't ask me why they need me to have a full bladder...I still don't know, LOL). Anyway, it wasn't quite full enough so....more water...drink, drink, drink. A few minutes later it was full enough and Dr. Honea came in. She went over our embryo results and we got to see the picture of the little embies. After signing more consents, away we go! Jason was able to watch the whole thing on the sonogram machine as I was laying down, clenching the bear, my cross necklace, and Jason's hand of course. Immediately as they inserted the catheter tears of joy started falling down my face. What an emotional experience?! To know that at that EXACT moment....2 embryos were entering my body....and hopefully finding a very inviting home for the next 9 months. The tears didn't stop there....it was a very short procedure and immediately afterward Dr. Honea, Jason, myself and the nurse grasped hands (the picture of the embryos was laying on my belly) and Dr. Honea said the most precious prayer....blessing our potential children, this process and that God's will be done. Cue more crying.....As I've said before....there is only so much that the embryologists and doctors can do....the rest is in God's hands. The top picture I've posted here shows my uterus and the pink line is pointing to a very small white dot....those are our 2 embies! I go back on September 9th for the bloodwork to determine if I'm pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ever since that moment this morning, there have been many clear signs that God has revealed to me that He is in control. Hope has been a word I've leaned on during this process. On the drive home we see the car in front of us with the license plate - HOPE 4U. What comfort. Then as get home I turned on the TV and at that time a verse came up on the screen....Romans 8:28. A verse that is very special to our family....my mom has always written that to me over the years....and it was my grandfather's favorite verse....one that my grandmother also recites to me often. Then the 3rd sign brought on the tears again....I have been following a Caring Bridge website for a woman named Keri Cain. I learned about this woman from a girl I work with....she suffered a heart attack weeks ago and ever since has been fighting quite a battle. Even though I did not know this woman, her story pulled at my heart day after day. I continued to follow her progress and pray for her, her husband and her two small precious children. When I pulled up a my email a few short moments ago, I learned that Keri lost her struggle this morning and is now at home with our Saviour. I've always heard that when God takes one life, another begins. I couldn't help but think that as God chose to take Keri home....that he chose to give us a precious life. I can barely type these words right now as the tears are filling up my eyes.

So, like I said, a very emotional day for sure. Many emotions are filling up my heart right now as I am sure the same is happening for Jason. The most important step thus far in our journey is now complete and all we can do now is wait. Wait the dreaded long 9 days....but I take comfort in knowing that God is on our side.

On today's episode of J & K + 8....

Well, already heard from the doctor's office this early Saturday morning! All 8 embryos are still progressing right along!!!!!!!!!!! And they are all still the same grade, which is great, great news! Now it's just about taking it easy this weekend and waiting for the transfer on Monday! I can't wait to share details with all of you after the procedure on Monday. We should even have pictures of the little embies!
I just have to keep trusting in God's plan for us....I keep praying that baby Oliver is in our near future. :)

J & K plus 8!

Just kidding.........that just means we have 8 embryos....not that we will have 8 children. In fact, I can GUARANTEE it! All 8 fertilized eggs have grown into embryos as of 10:30 this morning. They grade them at this stage on a scale of 1-10. One being the highest quality. All 8 of ours are grade TWO. So, this is GREAT news! They will call us again tomorrow morning with another progress report. Then we won't get a call on Sunday - we will have to wait until we get there at 10:30 on Monday to find out the final tally of what we have to work with. I'm still pretty anxious and nervous....to be expected, but I'm not having as hard of a day as I did yesterday.

Medicine update.....today has started the progesterone phase of the medication (all of the past shots have already stopped). I have to take an "injection" of progesterone in the mornings (not an actual needle injection....women, you can figure this out) then a nightly injection in the hip of progesterone in an oil form. This is the really big needle and the shot that Jason has to give....so it's his time to shine!

I will post another update tomorrow as soon as we hear about out little embies. :)
My daily thanks.....thanks for all the sweet notes you all have sent me.

See me through...

So today was one of the first really emotional days I've had since the actual IVF process started. I got the call this morning about the little eggs. Of the 25 eggs they retrieved.....13 were mature eggs and 8 of those fertilized. These numbers are totally normal and to be expected....so why am I upset?!??!? Why am I being so selfish in wanting more???? This whole time all we've asked for is one baby. ONE. All it takes is one healthy embryo to make a baby and I have to keep remembering that. We will know tomorrow how many embryos we have from the 8 eggs that fertilized. There's still so much to be determined and the next few days will tell so much. In an ideal world we'd love to have 2 healthy high grade embryos to transfer on Monday...and then 2 to freeze. So that's only four total. I have to keep reminding myself of that.

So why the emotional breakdown today? Maybe it's because I've been pumped full of different hormones the past few weeks....maybe it's slight feelings of anger that we are having to go through all of this...or maybe it's because I just need time to let all these tears out....to let my emotions pour out of me....I've heard crying therapy is good. Frankly, I think it's a culmination of all of these things. I have so many emotions running through me right now.

When I first started this blog I told myself I didn't care if no one ever read it. It was a journaling tool for me to use to get my emotions out. After writing for a while now I've realized that's not true. I want people to read this...I NEED people to read this. So many of you are holding me accountable for my beliefs....and are reminding me how strong, brave, and graceful I've been thus far in the process. If I wasn't sharing my story...I wouldn't be reminded of this. We all need strong faithful friends during the good times and the bad....and while this isn't necessarily a BAD time...it's a tough time....and I need my support team to remind me to be strong in my faith....to remind me that this is out of my hands, it's in God's hands. He has a plan and I have to trust Him. It's just hard right now when I don't know the outcome. That's why they call it blind faith, right?

No doubt, the next few days will be tough. Tomorrow we will know more information about what we are "working with" so to speak. Please pray that we are graced with some healthy, high quality embryos. As to the exact number...that is up to God and His plan.

25 eggs!

This morning's retrieval process went great! They were able to get 25 eggs! We will get a call tomorrow letting us know the details on the quality of the eggs and how many fertilized. From there they will continue to call us each day to let us know how our little embryos are progressing! Next up...we go in Monday morning at 11:00 for the transfer....then I will go back on September 9th at 7:30 for the blood pregnancy test!!!! Exciting stuff!

I'm experiencing some cramping today which is to be expected after the retrieval. So I'm laid up in the bed and just waiting on Jason to deliver my Demerol from the pharmacy! :) Going to take it extra easy today and nap when I feel the urge.

Specific prayer requests today...
Pray that the embryologists work to the best of their ability to fertilize the eggs, pray that we end up with high quality embryos, pray for the preparation of my body for the transfer on Monday. Pray for continued patience as well for both Jason and myself as we are in the "waiting game" now.

Thanks again for all the notes and emails to let us know you are thinking about us. How lucky are we to be blessed with such wonderful people in our lives.
Hugs to you all! :)

Retrieval is scheduled!

This morning's appointment revealed a few things!

1. I have about 30 healthy mature follicles/eggs ready to be retrieved! Most of them are measuring right at 2cm which is right where they should be.

2. I stop taking the Lupron and STIM's shots, so last night were my last injections of those medications. (I responded excellently! Ok, I don't think that is really a word...but whatever, I'm bragging here!)

3. Tonight I take the HCG injection, which is taken 36 hours before the retrieval procedure. This "triggers" the mature follicles for ovulation and gets them ready for retrieval.

4. I have to start another medication today. This is just a pill (thank goodness, not another shot). Apparently I am close to borderline of "over stimluating". My estradiol level today was 3,125. Any time it's over 3,000 they go ahead and put the patient on this medication as a preventative. I don't need to overstimulate in the next 36 hours. For one, it can be a very painful thing to go through (from what I've heard). Anyway, it's an oral medication that I'll take for 8 days.

5. I have to take an enema tomorrow night. (seriously?! ok, we'll get back to that in a second)

6. Retrieval is scheduled for Wednesday!

Ok, so this enema...um, what? No one forwarned me about this part! I know it pales in comparison to what I've been through so far...so get over it Kara. But really....I was NOT expecting that. I've never known exactly what it was until I called my mom for clarification...I'm sure she's still got a ringing in her ear from the scream through the phone. YUCK! I think I've been pretty good about not complaining about things too much....so give me a moment here to gripe about this!

So, the instructions for tomorrow (Tuesday) are this -
*eat a light supper
*take a Fleet's enema after supper
*drink 16 oz of water at bedtime
*do not eat or drink anything after midnight
*be at the doctor's office at 7:30am Wednesday morning, procedure at 8:30

When we get to the doctor's office Wednesday morning they will go over everything with us, we will sign consent forms, and then they hook me up to an IV and away we go! Time for retrieving eggs. I told Jason today I feel like I need to go sit on a pile of hay ready to lay eggs...like a chicken! I'm so glad that Jason and I both can find some humor in all of this...our quirky sense of humor has gotta be what keeps us sane. So, yes, make all the chicken/egg jokes you like...we are doing the same.

As you can imagine we are SO very excited! Here are some specific things I'd like all my prayer warriors to concentrate. Please pray for continued calm patience over the next 2 days, pray for things to go smoothly with the procedure, pray for the widsom of the doctors, nurses and staff to shine through for us on Wednesday, pray for Jason to contiue to be my emotional rock during this, pray for the fertilization portion to go as planned, pray for God's will to be done (as I know it will), pray for the future family that Jason and I so long to have.

The black blobs....revealed!

This morning we went back to the doctor (yes, they see you even on weekends) for another sonogram and more bloodwork. This particular nurse counted about 30 black blogs (a.k.a. follicles)! They are measuring right on track, just as they should be. They aren't "mature" yet...but they shouldn't be this soon. And for all those interested....we got some pictures of those cute little black blobs. The average size of them right now is around 1.5 cm. So, here is a picture of my left and right ovaries. Keep in mind this is just one view of them...as they move the probe around you see more and more so this is the best shot the nurse could get to show a bunch of them at one time. As just as I've said....they are black blobs! LOL!

So, what now? We go back Monday morning first thing for another ultrasound and more bloodwork. And my estradiol level I mentioned in the last post? well Thursday it was 685...today it was 1869.7! It's crazy how quickly these numbers jump up! Today's nurse guessed that retrieval will be Wednesday...but that is still subject to change. Could be Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday. Either way we are so close to the next significant stage of our journey. I'm getting nervous feelings that I haven't felt before! And to quote my sweet sister...I see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Let me get back to the picture for a second...This is not - AND I REPEAT...THIS IS NOT a potential picture of Kara & Jason - Octo-parents! We will at the most be transferring two embryos....not 8 like that crazy lady. Our lives will not become a reality show. (sorry Emily!)

I hope this gives you all a bit more insight to the process....a little glimpse into what we have been getting to see. To some these are private moments only shared between a husband and wife...but I've chosen to make this information public.....for all interested to read. I don't regret one minute of sharing all of this either. What I thought was going to be a very scary experience has actually turned into an extremely uplifting experience. I feel certain I wouldn't feel this way, if I haven't shared. Many of you have emailed me questions...please, please, please - if you ever have a question about any of this don't hesitate to ask me.

Hugs and love to you all!

Big news day!

Today was a big news day! This morning’s doctor appointment went GREAT! We saw lots of little black blobs on the sonogram monitor….around 22! We have to have at least 8 healthy eggs retrieved to continue on in our 2 cycle shared risk program….so 22 is more than we could ask for (of course those follicles still have to grown INTO eggs, but we are on the right track!). They wanted us to come back Sunday morning for another sonogram to see how the follicles were continuing to grow in order to schedule the retrieval day. Well, got the call back from the bloodwork results and the doctor’s review of the sonogram….and they want us back Saturday morning bright and early for the next check. While everything looks great, they just want to check me sooner, rather than later incase I start to "over stimulate". The bloodwork results looked great. My Estradiol level was at 685! Last week it was at 37…so clearly the STIM’s medication is doing it’s job.

*Side note – a lesson on Estradiol levels…
Estradiol is actually a type of estrogen, which is the major female reproductive hormone. Estradiol is the primary type of estrogen, and it is produced in your ovaries. As they grow and develop, your egg follicles secrete Estradiol, helping to trigger the rest of the reproductive cycle.

My levels should be between 200 and 600 right now….so again, overachieving over here at 685! But we don't want the level too high...like I mentioned above, we don't want me to "over stimulate". That's a whole other set of problems. But overall they are very happy with the results and they said I'm progressing just as I should be! Next up on the medication schedule....antibiotics. I start the antibiotic tomorrow and Jason will start it on Sunday. We both take it to decrease the risk of any infection. The slightest infection could hinder results from both mine and Jason's "contributions" so we have to be in tip top shape! And for those of you wondering...the shots are still going fine. Of course I am starting a good collection of bruises on my thighs and stomach from the shots, but so far, no major mishaps.

My coordinator told me she thinks that retrievel would be Thursday...but when we go in on Saturday they will tell us for sure. It could be moved up sooner. Cue the nervous, excited and scared emotions! I’m a ball of nerves…but in the best possible way. This is what we’ve been waiting for….praying for….and hoping for. I can’t even explain my emotions. It’s hard to concentrate on anything unrelated to IVF right now.

In an attempt to distract my mind from the topic at hand I’m going to share a couple “waiting room” stories with you.

1st story…I got called back this morning for bloodwork and I left Jason sitting in the waiting room. When I returned there was a girl sitting across from us. Cute, cute blonde…looked to be a bit younger than me. Well, I looked down and saw the CUTEST shoes ever on her feet. (for those of you that don’t know….I’m a shoe-aholic. The higher the heal the better….the more funky, the better. I HEART SHOES!) Anyway, she must have thought I was crazy because I just kept staring at her feet as she worked away on her iPhone. Then, she got called back for her bloodwork. As she walked out Jason looked at me and said, “You two would get along. When she walked in I immediately looked at her shoes, because I’m married to you, I notice these things…and I thought, man, Kara would LOVE those shoes.” I seriously wanted to steal them off her feet. Anyway, it was a comical moment and couldn’t help but love Jason a bit more after saying that. He knows me well….and my shoe addiction.

2nd waiting room story… a couple walked in as we were sitting there waiting to be called back. They were a cute young couple about our age and I could tell they were “first timers”. They had that scared/emotional look on their faces…unsure of where to sign in, what to do. It wasn’t long ago that Jason and I were in their shoes. I’ll never forget that day….as I’m sure Jason never will either. We had that same scared/emotional looks on our faces I am sure. It made me want to just go up to them, give them big hugs and tell them everything was going to work out. “you’re in great hands” I wanted to shout out! Then I scanned the room…that waiting room is always filled with people from all walks of life….all different types of women and men. But we all have one thing in common. We all want to be parents and we aren’t able to without their help. It’s so hard for people to understand what we are going through if you’ve never experienced it before. You seriously go through all types of emotions. It was right then and there that I realized I feel the most comfortable sitting in that waiting room…surrounded by all those people. Because everyone understands…everyone knows what those emotions feel like. We might not even speak to each other…but we just know….and can empathize.

I’ve been saying it a lot lately – It’s easy to stay positive and upbeat when we continue to get good news. God has a hand in this, I just know it. His will…WILL be done… no matter the outcome. I have to continue to believe in that…and trust in that. We have and army of prayer warriors and so many people on our side who are rooting for us. It just truly makes my heart warm.

Prayers for tomorrow!

Well....tomorrow morning we will get to see the first results of the stimulation medication! Please pray that the shots are doing their job and the follicles are growing as they should be. We hope to see lots of little black blobs on the sonogram monitor in the morning! I will update tomorrow after we know! Please continue the prayers...God is listening.

The makings of a STIM shot...

So, last night started the new STIM medication. And after careful reading through the material again, I realized the that the shot is to be given in my stomach or leg...not my hip like we thought. So...for now, Jason is off the hook. I can continue to give myself these shots in addition to the lupron. Here is a picture of what makes up one of these STIM's shots....

1. attach cap to the syringe (the cap is in front of the pink vial)
2. draw up the liquid in the 3 vials (the 2 green and 1 pink)
3. push the liquid through to the vial on the far right. This is powder and dissolves when the liquid is pushed in.
4. take off the cap and attach the needle to the syringe.
5. draw up the mixed liquid.
6. clean the skin and administer the shot.

Um....word to the wise....this shot BURNS! there is a good amount of liquid being pushed in and it's pretty painful. Honestly, I don't know if I can take that pain in my stomach.I might continue to give these shots in my legs and only give the lupron in my stomach. Understand the overwhelming part? It's a lot to remember....which is why I had to make a notebook to keep all my notes, calendar, etc in as a reference. I call it my IVF bible. :)

So, for now I'm just shooting away at night....and battling headaches by day. Battling one right now in fact. Today was the worst I've felt in a while actually. I woke up feeling very exhausted....got a burst of energy mid morning and I felt better until about 2:00 this afternoon. It was down hill from there....I'm taking Tylenol and drinking lots of water. That's all I can really do. Oh, and rest! Doctor's orders! At this point in the process I'm on even more restriction. Can't lift over 20 pounds...and just supposed to take it easy. I've been doing that anyway, so I'm just going to continue doing just that!

We go back to the doctor on Thursday morning. This sonogram will show how the follicles are growing. Those follicles will turn into eggs. Depending on the size of follicles will determine when egg retrieval is....definitely one day next week though. We are in the heart of the process now! It's hard to believe how quickly it's flying by.

As always....continue with the prayers everyone! God is listening! :)

That's a whole mess of meds!!!!

So today we picked up the rest of our medication....I say "our"....but let's face it....other than the week long of antibiotics for Jason, the rest is all mine! It's a bit overwhelming.....mix this with that, use one needle to fill the syringe, use another to give the shot, etc. I just had to post this picture so you could all see the mound of medication!!!! I'm keeping this post short for now...but I'll post more on Sunday after the first attempt with the STIMs medication!!!

Green light for the next step!

Today was another one of those "big step" days for this process! This morning I had blood work done and an ultrasound. The ultrasound looked "perfect" as the nurse told me. (there's that word that I love to hear) My endometrium lining is nice and thin like it should be, which means the Lupron is doing it's job...and the ovaries looked great...no cysts or anything! Praise God! The next part was waiting for the bloodwork results.....then I got the call that all my levels look great!!! Everything is in line just as it should be for this part of the process. Finally...some consistent good news! (this is not something Jason and I are used to hearing!)
So this means that I've been given the official green light to start the next round of medication...the stimulation medication. I will add this injection at night to the Lupron I'm already getting. The STIM shot is the one that Jason will have to give, so here comes the practice! We'll go on Friday to pick up the rest of the medication from the "baby making pharmacy" that I like to call it. After we get all that I'll post pictures of it all so you can get a visual.
So, that shot will start this Sunday and then my next appointment is next Thursday the 20th. This appointment they will check the size of the follicles (that turn into eggs) and make a determination about the retrieval date. It could be anywhere from 3 to 7 days later depending on how they are growing. Obviously I'd rather it be on the shorter end of the spectrum...but you can't rush this process. Everything has truly fallen into place so I have to assume that this will too. With continous good news like this it only helps keep my stress and anxiety levels down....which is great!

I've written it many times in prior posts...but I wanted to say a thank you to everyone who continously checks up on me/us. The emails/Facebook messages/texts/phone calls mean so very much and truly do make this process easier to bear. Sometimes I get caught up in the "schedule" of it all and forget just how huge this is. It's such an important time in our lives....something we will never forget.

Prayer request...

Tomorrow morning I have my next doctor’s appointment. This appointment is called the suppression check. They will be drawing blood to check my estrogen level to make sure it is just that…suppressed. They will also be doing an ultrasound to make sure my lining is where it needs to be…and another lovely culture test. Ladies…if you’ve never had a culture test done, they are super fun (as I’m rolling my eyes). Ask me about it if you’d like to know…but there are men that read this blog so I’ll leave the details off for now.

So, I’m requesting prayers at this moment. Prayers that the results come back the way they need to be for us to continue on with our calendar. As long as the suppression check comes back “normal” then I will start on my STIMs medication this Sunday. So, a second shot will be added to the nightly routine. This is when Jason really has to step up to the plate (so to speak) and give the shots in my hip. While the last “practice” shot he gave me didn’t go so well….I still have confidence in him that he can do this, and do it right. Ok, maybe say some prayers about that too. :) We talked to some friends this weekend who have been through this recently (thanks J & J!) and it gave us both renewed hope that this can work and even gave Jason a bit of a confidence boost that if other men can do this…so can he.

As for how I’m feeling. My only real complaint is that I’ve been pretty tired. Yesterday (Monday) was pretty brutal….dragging tiredness throughout the day even with much needed sleep all weekend. Today I’m feeling pretty good….better than I’ve felt the past few days actually, so that is encouraging.

That’s really the only update for now. I should have another update tomorrow afternoon after the blood work comes back so check back then.

Until then….just keep the prayers comin! :)

day 3 update...

Well, it’s day 3 of my shots and so far so good! And my faithful readers...have been wondering about the needles! LOL! Here is a picture of my first pick up from the pharmacy...complete with my own red hazardous container! Now, that is something I didn't think I would ever use to accessorize my bathroom!!!! As you can see the syringe is really small...and the needle is even smaller. This is just for the lupron (one little vial and tons of syringes!)...more pictures will follow in the coming weeks showing the rest of these lovely meds! (I got a sneak peek at the pharmacy of all my "prizes"...it's A LOT!)

I have already experienced a couple side effects (upset stomach, tiredness) but in mild forms so no formal complaints just yet! Administering the shots has not been a big deal….aside from the first night when the injection site swelled up like a bad mosquito bite! After reading the material a bit closer…it clearly said that could happen. And as Jason tells me – “if it could happen…it will happen to you!”. We laugh about that…but after I stop to really think about it I realize that it could be so much worse…there could be so many other obstacles standing in our way (maybe I’m able to say that now because things seem to finally be falling into place). And Jason and I can both tell that our minds are a bit preoccupied. The process is finally underway that we have waited for and it's exciting, yet scary...just like my blog title says. Random things like forgetting where I put something...or not being able to remember why I walked into a room....these things are happening to Jason and I both! I mentioned these things to Jason last night and he was like - I'm experiencing the same thing! It doesn't surprise me though. We have been known to finish each other's sentences, read each other's minds, and say the exact same thing at the exact same time. It just validates to us even more that we are meant to be together. One thing is FOR SURE....even if we don't end up with a baby (God forbid) we will definitely have a stronger marriage. A bond that I knew was already strong to begin with...is already growing.

There's a country song out by Brad Paisley that I've come to love.
The lyrics say:
I could just see you, with a baby on the way
And I could just see you, when your hair is turning gray
What I can't see is how I'm ever gonna love you more
But I've said that before

I thought the day I married Jason - Gosh, I can't love this man any more than I do right now....but I love him more than I did that day. I love it when I song can put so much into perspective!

Well that post just turned all sentimental...didn't it?!?! Started talking about needles and finishing up talking about how much I love my husband...that doesn't surprise my scatterbrained mind!

The Lupron fun begins!

So, this morning’s doctor visit went great! The sonogram showed that the cyst has greatly diminished in size…2 cm or less. So, that is great! I guess all those little pains I’ve been having the past few weeks was that booger shrinking down! The nurse also counted my follicles. The follicles are what turns into eggs….she counted at least 20! That is so awesome!

It was so refreshing to get nothing but great news at this doctor’s visit….and I was so glad Jason was there with me. Every ounce of information he can learn is great. I’ve been reading up on this process for months so I basically know what all of this means but sometimes it’s just hard for a man to grasp all of this! I’ve encouraged Jason to accompany me to most all of these visits so he can learn more and more. I think it really has helped him. At first that screen just looked like the doplar radar to him….but now we are pointing out ovaries and follicles (ok, with the help of the nurse….but still, it’s a learning process!) This morning as we were looking at all those black blobs the nurse said – “one day one of these black blobs will have a heartbeat inside of it”. My heart just melted at the thought of that….the yearning I have so deep inside of me to hear that long awaited heartbeat. I know it will be the best sound Jason and I have ever heard.
But in order for us to get to that day….we have to endure the not so fun stuff first. The shots begin tonight for me. Daily lupron injections is the first on the schedule.

After we left the doctor’s office I went by the pharmacy to pick up my first round of injections. It’s not just pulling up to the Wallgreens drive through….it’s a pharmaceutical company that specializes in fertility drugs. I walked in and was immediately blown away by all the pictures of babies. And in my welcome packet of information was a note that read:
Dear Patient,
Like your doctor’s office, we would like for you to send us a picture of your baby for our display if you can. It will be encouraging to others that may come into our pharmacy and pick up their medications.
Thank you.
I can only hope to walk in that pharmacy with a framed picture of baby Oliver one day. What a special day that will be. Because I know that one day someone else, just like me, will walk in that office….and be blown away by all the pictures….and have renewed hope.

They brought out a big tub overflowing with boxes, bags of syringes, etc. and I asked the girl – um, is ALL of that for me? Why, yes it is, she said. All I picked up today was the Lupron. It’s very convenient that I can just go back when I need to pick up the next thing on the agenda. It would not be good if something happened midway through this cycle and I had to delay everything. Then I’m stuck with hundreds of dollars of medication that is useless to me. I don’t want to chance it!

But as the nurse said this morning….as of right now…..everything looks perfect! Now that’s a word I haven’t heard until now!